How Do I Know I Am Being Abused

 

Early Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

If you think your spouse or partner is abusive, or you suspect that someone you know is in an abusive relationship, review the red flags and other information on domestic abuse and violence covered in this article.

Not all abuse involves physical violence or threat; emotional abuse can also leave deep and lasting scars.

            Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms of spousal abuse is the first step, but taking action is the most important step in breaking free.

            Feeling uncomfortable or being afraid in your relationship is the number 1 red flag that your relationship is not healthy. Estimates are that 1 out of 4 women will experience an abusive relationship and there are often many early, detectable warning signs. Domestic Violence is about Power and Control. Controlling behaviors often are the first indicators – anything they ask or demand you do to change who you are, your appearance or behavior seem like simple, compromise-type relationship concessions but are often veiled warning signs that this relationship may turn abusive.


23 Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship
            (interpreted from the list at ://www.health-first.org/)

Physical or sexual violence may occur without warning. Sometimes, however, there may be signs or "red flags" that serve as warnings that the relationship is abusive. The following are examples of a person's behavior or personality that may be that warning. If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, you may be at risk – please call Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-978-3600 (Southern California Only) to speak with a domestic violence advocate.

  • Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way & play it off as a “joke” or tell you you’re being too sensitive?
  • Does your partner call you names such as "stupid" or "bitch"?
  • Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers or coerce you into avoiding or not spending time with them?
  • Does your partner get angry about or make you change the clothes & shoes you wear, how you style your hair, or whether or not you wear makeup & how much?
  • Does your partner check-up on you by repeatedly calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?
  • Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to "keep an eye on you"?
  • Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone, check your call log or phone bill?
  • Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?
  • Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you're "walking on eggshells"?
  • Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?
  • Does your partner often drink or use drugs?
  • Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?
  • Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?
  • Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else or cheating on them?
  • Does your partner read your e/mail, check your computer history, go through your purse, or other personal papers?
  • Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have "money secrets?"
  • Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?
  • Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?
  • Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?
  • Does your partner threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave?
  • Is your partner like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?

Our experience tells us that even if you only said yes to one or two, that these behaviors tend to multiply and get worse over time. Please call us to see if the situation you’re in is safe and what you can do to make it more so 661-200-4362.